Give Condolences

How To Behave At A Funeral

No one is prepared to face the issue of death, but life inevitably makes us face this reality. However, a funeral can provide the family and friends of the deceased the opportunity to express their love and appreciation pain, and meet a life worthy of the crisis that occurs with the loss. You can be an awkward moment having to go to a funeral, or give condolence, but we must know what to say and do. Knowing how to behave in this situation is a sign of respect for people who are facing a tuff time, as well as a sign of affection towards the deceased.

At the wake, the correct thing would be for only the people close to the person and their relatives to come, because it is a very intimate moment. It is not appropriate to go to ” let yourself be seen.” However, the funeral can be attended by all those who feel it from the heart, or wish to support the family, even if the deceased has not been very close.

In my opinion (eye, do not pretend to offend anyone, or create controversy), when you find out that someone has just died, it is more delicate to send a text message than to call the mobile phone to the person who has lost the loved one, and I explain. When you phone someone, you do not know when he is, if he is just when he has broken pain or if he wants to be alone. A text message may be more impersonal, but it can be read at the time the person deems appropriate. Sending an email expressing our thoughts may also be suitable.

If you can not go to the funeral,   sending a wreath or bouquet is the best option. Sending a wreath is a very appropriate way of expressing condolence since flowers convey beauty and a sense of life. The most personal thing is to accompany the flowers with a handwritten note. If the deceased or his family is Orthodox Jewish, flowers are nothing appropriate.

How To Give Condolences

Mainly, this can be one of the most challenging times when going to a wake or funeral. In some moments it is complicated to verbalize that feeling of sadness, pain, compassion, and support for the debtor.

Condolences can be given physically, by call or note. The best thing is to be brief and straightforward. If there is enough closeness, there is nothing that conveys more than a sincere hug and meaning. The phrases can change, but we must always show our proximity to those close to us because of the pain they are feeling. It is quicker to say than to do, but it is best to express what comes out of our hearts, mainly if the deceased was close. More than a hackneyed phrase ” I’m so sorry,” it gives more consolation to remember something about the person who has just died, as positive aspects of his character, something he has done for us… Surely those tiny details are those that get a little comfort to people who are going through this challenging time.

There are also times that we are close to the person who has lost a loved one, not the deceased itself. In that case, we must make him feel our empathy and offer to help him in whatever he may need. Praising who we do not know is false and unnecessary.


May 2022


Walter L. Royse
Address : 2394 Rhode Island Avenue
Washington, DC 20036
Phone : 202-331-7147
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